The Captain sat at the desk in his quarters. He held his head in his hands, fingers raked into dark blond hair. Other men his age envied such thick, luxurious hair, but they didn’t have the technological advances of Starfleet at their disposal.
The doors slid open with a hiss and a familiar figure strode into the room. The lights adjusted their hue to better display the blue of his uniform. He stood to an awkward attention near the desk, troubled by the stiffness in his hip.
“I was told you were in your quarters, Captain.”
“And here you find me.” The Captain looked up, brushing his hair back into place.
“You have been in your quarters for some time. If you are unwell, I can call the medical bay –”
“I’m not unwell. I’m just a little preoccupied.”
The newcomer raised a pointed eyebrow.
“What troubles you, Captain?”
The Captain sat up and pushed his chair away from his desk. He gestured to the screen, and the science officer peered at the documentation on display.
“Requests for child support, Captain?”
“Yes. You see, Spock, it looks like boldly going where no man has gone before is an expensive enterprise,” replied the Captain. He snorted.
“And what are you going to do about it?”
“Pay them. What else can I do? I just don’t know how the Federation will react when they find out. We were on an exploratory mission…not a colonisation expedition.”
The Captain leaned forward and swiped his finger across the screen. His signature appeared at the bottom of the authorisation order for payment of the requested child maintenance. He gazed at his name. James Tiberius Kirk…father of at least nine declared offspring.
“Hell, maybe I can start a new Starfleet of my own,” said the Captain.
He pressed ‘Send’.
Image is Starfield by AlphaSpace.
theothersideofdeanna says
Ha! Guess a guy can’t get away no matter how far he goes. Good one Icy.
Tim VanSant Writes says
Wow, imagine the logistics of visitation rights and holidays. 😉
Sonya Clark says
Only nine? Oh, it says “at least nine.” Sounds about right. 🙂
I liked this one a lot, good job.
Steve Green says
Ah well, just think of all the prezzies on Father’s day. 🙂
Larry Kollar says
Heehee, such are the hazards of the Space Age heartthrob!
daniellelapaglia says
Love this!
Natalie Bowers says
“We were on an exploratory mission…not a colonisation expedition.”
Hahahahah! Loved this!
(I was just tweeting about Kirk being a ladies man on #scifichat! Great minds …)
afullnessinbrevity says
Sowing your wild oats will always come back during harvest season. He’s such a doofus.
Adam B @revhappiness
Helen says
Well, he obviously did go where no man has boldly gone before and left his mark! LOL Even in space you have to pay your debts! Good one Icy ^__^
Peter Newman says
Kirk strikes me as the kind of guy that wouldn’t bother with protection.
John Wiswell says
Alimony: where no fan fiction has gone before.
Tony Noland says
Heh, he’s finally being caught up for all of those violations of the party-lad’s Prime Directive: always wear protection.
jackkholt says
In the world of Star Trek, no mission tends to be a quick in and out…
Chuck Allen says
Ha! I love it!
Gareth Spark says
Nice one 😀
JC Rosen says
I needed that grin! Thanks, Icy. Would love to see photos of the family reunion in about ten years.
Take care,
JC
inkyheels says
Heheheh – loved it! I can picture it too, and this is definitely a scene I would have loved to see in the series.
Katherine Hajer says
Funny!
Green skin and blonde hair go together at least… seriously, though, you’d think birth control methods would have improved by the 25th century.
Icy Sedgwick says
I’m glad everyone has enjoyed this!