#FridayFlash – Ghosts

A chill wind whips up the street, casting grit into my face as I walk towards the bookshop. The blue sky is cold and unfriendly, the threatening clouds to the east the dull grey of gunmetal. As much as I love this bookshop, finding solace in its aisles, it has been a year since I last paid a visit. Twelve months ago, I came here with him. We browsed, and laughed, and shared our love of books, poking through old hardbacks and well-thumbed novels alike. I’ve wanted to come back for weeks now, prompted by a misguided need to ‘reset’ the associations that the place came to have.

I wander around the bookshop, smiling at the Christmas decorations, and fascinated by the tiny hardbacked pocketbooks kept in glass cases to preserve their fragile pages. After browsing, I return to the counter to hand over books I no longer need, and use the proceeds to pay for new books. It’s an elegant system, aimed at the bibliophile and much beloved by me.

Yet the bubble must burst, and I leave the shop, stepping out of its comforting warmth into biting cold and an unforgiving wind. I struggle down to the main road. A couple huddle in the stone bus shelter across the road, and I stand in the street, unwilling to intrude. He whispers, she laughs, I wince. I recognise the laugh, and sneak a glance at the couple. He awkwardly puts his arm around her, and I feel the ghost of his arm across my shoulders. She looks at me, my perfect double, and mouths a single word. “Nevermore”.

The bus rumbles towards the stop and shatters the illusion. I look away to check its number, and when I look back, the couple have left the shelter, and walk away from me down the street. A year ago they got onto the bus to begin the journey home. This year, I get onto the bus alone, flash my ticket, and settle into my seat. I fish one of my new books out of my bag and flip to the first page. My mind feels lighter. Perhaps the weight that was lifted was that of a ghost being laid to rest.