Welcome to the Schloss Teufelnacht! I trust you will have a, ah, pleasant stay. Your room is number 26 and it is on the first floor in the west wing. You will find wonderful views of the setting sun over the valley, though I recommend that you close the shutters when the night comes. Heh, it is nothing, simply a local custom. Nothing to worry about.
Breakfast is served from 7am until 10am, although I suspect some may be feeding earlier than that. Heh, just my little joke, no need to panic. Here is your key. If you have any problems before 7pm, you may phone reception and one of the day staff will be happy to help you. The number you dial is simply 1. What happens after 7pm? Ah, the night staff will be around. No, we do not find this strange. You have shiftworkers in England, yes? Some of our day staff don’t like to be away from home when the night comes, but they are still young yet.
Ah! Before I forget, we are upgrading the lights all through the Schloss and in some areas they are not good, so I advise keeping to your room by night. We do not want anyone bumping into anything in the corridor. See this bruise? I walked into a table corner! Heh, not good. Anyway, you have your key now, and remember to dial 1 if you need reception. I am here until 7pm, and Vlad will take over then until the morning. No, he is not German, he is from somewhere in eastern Europe, I think. He is a, how do you say, ‘people person’, so that is good.
The west wing is to your left there, and there is a bar beside the lifts. Yes, the pool is open until 7pm, it is just down that corridor to your right. Yes, we operate room service until 7pm. OK, you have everything now, just call me if you need anything else.
Good night…and good luck.
Marc Nash says
Full of brooding menace, when a hotel stay is supposed to be relaxing!
Icy Sedgwick says
Yeah, and based on some hotels I’ve stayed in, this one actually seems alright.
Carrie Clevenger says
You can check any time you like, but you can never leave. 0.0
Icy Sedgwick says
No……
Larry Kollar says
The jocularity of the warnings kept me smiling all the way through. I could imagine some thrill-seeker types actually enjoying a place like that!
Icy Sedgwick says
I probably would!
Janet Aldrich says
LOL … Teufelnacht? Really helps to speak the language of the country before you make reservations. Funny and chilling at the same time! Good story, Icy!
Tony Noland says
That’s… “tequila night”, right? Awesome!
Icy Sedgwick says
Devil Night!
Donald Conrad says
For some reason, as I was reading this I began to project Vincent Price’s voice into it.
Devil Night indeed!
Icy Sedgwick says
Ah, I love Vincent Price!
David G Shrock says
Thrilling night ahead.
Icy Sedgwick says
Maybe I should see what the night staff are like.
Deanna Schrayer says
I believe I’d go ahead and check out before I even went to the room.
Icy Sedgwick says
I’m fascinated by what room service would be like!
Andrea Blythe says
Great job.
I think I would turn and leave, if the hotel guy gave me that speach, saying a big ol’ NOPE along the way. lol.
Icy Sedgwick says
Ah but I bet the rooms are cheap…
Steve Green says
Heheh! I find this deliciously darkly humourous, I read it in the voice of the TV meerkat. I’m not sure what that says about my sense of humour, but it worked for me. 🙂
Icy Sedgwick says
Haha whatever works!
Sonia Lal says
Maybe the things that go bump in the night will come get them!
Icy Sedgwick says
Maybe indeed!
Stephen Book says
What? No complimentary garlic or crosses? I love how you threw Vlad into the story. Any “staff” personnel from Eastern Europe is a clear sign that maybe staying is not in your best interest. Nicely done, Icy.
ganymeder says
Not at all, um, ahhhh, suspicious, hehehe… 😀
Jon Jefferson says
I think I have stayed at this hotel. Oh the joyful noises outside your window in the dead of night.
Kay says
Love it, very atmospheric, more so especially after my recent stay in a hotel with 24 hour staff. Always makes you wonder a little… Just me?
Icy Sedgwick says
I’ve stayed in places with 24 hour staff where even the day staff have terrified me!
Katherine Hajer says
This is pretty much the exact experience I had once with a hotel in Seattle. The clerk looked my friend and I up and down, and said, “You can stay here, but if you’re outside or in the lobby after 8pm or before 8am, I’m not responsible for your safety. Otherwise, you’re fine.”